Why am I, why are we as Christians so hesitant to talk about sex? Maybe it’s because “godly sexuality” sounds like a contradiction in terms. But sex is not ungodly, and it absolutely can be pleasing to God. Jesus freely talked about it. The Pharisees once came to Jesus looking for a way to trip Him up on the finer points of the law. They asked about divorce – when it was permissible to divorce their wives (Matthew 19:3-9). He avoided responding immediately to their question about divorce and instead went back to basics. I find this approach in talking about sex helpful, because there is so much confusion about sex in our society, and brokenness in our sex lives. When we lay out the basics first, it really helps to put questions about sex into perspective. So what are the basics?
We need to start like Jesus did with the Genesis account of creation. God created mankind male and female. I see this as more than just a matter of necessity – the sexes being needed for the procreation of mankind as it was for animals. Mankind was unique in creation, because God said, “Let Us make man in Our image,” and “in the image of God He created them male and female.” When God was done making man He said that what He had made was very good. I take this to mean that Adam and Eve were a very good reflection of His image. (Genesis 1:26-27, 31) I have been taught that being made in the image of God means that like Him I have intellect and will, I am a moral being, and I am a spiritual being. But beyond this I now think that something about being a male, and my wife being a female reflects the image of God. Something of God’s nature and beauty is reflected in my maleness and her femaleness. And our being together as one flesh, united in marriage “till death do us part” also reflects the image of God. As Jesus told the Pharisees, “a man shall cleave to his wife and the two shall become one flesh,” and “what God has joined together, let not man put asunder.” (Matthew 19:5, 6) The unity of a man and his wife reflects the unity of God. Jesus said, “I and the Father are One,” and this is a oneness that has been unbroken in the Godhead from eternity past. It is a beautiful relationship of love, harmony, and fellowship. (John 10:30)
So, these are the basics, the original design for mankind from creation. A man and a woman are joined together as one flesh for life, reflecting the very nature of the Godhead. Marriage between a man and a woman that includes healthy sexual intimacy, and endures “till death do us part” pleases God. So, what offends God? Sexual intimacy in any other shape or form, including sexual activity before marriage, adultery, homosexuality, pornography, sexual addictions, prostitution… I’m hesitant to speak so plainly and be so pointed, but I believe that this is Biblical. God is not cruel. He has our best interests at heart. His best is always His design. Our ways are not only offensive to God, they are destructive to us and to others. Paul told the Corinthian church in 1 Corinthians 6:18 that when we commit immorality (and I would take that to mean all sexual intimacy outside of marriage between a man and a woman) we actually sin against ourselves. Sexual sin is destructive. Specifically in this passage Paul was talking about prostitution. He stated in verse sixteen that when a man sleeps with a prostitute he is one flesh with her. What happens when he goes his own way? That oneness is torn, and his heart grows scar tissue - it becomes hardened. And what about the prostitute? He sins against her because in using her he is helping to ruin her life, and more broadly, he is financing human trafficking.
Again, God really does have our best interests at heart. The best life we can live as a married partner is to keep our heart and body only for our spouse, “drinking water from our own well” (Proverbs 5:15-20 ). The best life we can live as a single is to keep ourselves from immorality, keeping ourselves pure for our Lord. This is pleasing to God, and it is the best we can do for ourselves and for others. It is certainly not a popular stand to take, but just maybe by doing so we will be salt and light in this dark and confused world.
